I normally only highlight good music on this blog. While there is a mountain of crap music out there in the world I don’t generally like to spend t0o much time on it. But sometimes a song comes along that is so incredibly bad that it almost defies belief that anyone with any pop sensibilities at all would find it appealing enough to have actually convinced someone to release it. This week Kim Kardashian chose a path that has been far too well traveled in recent years, attempting to parlay her Reality TV “success” into a music career. The result is the laughably bad and hopefully career ending “Jam(Turn It Up)”. My question to you is how does Kim K’s new single rank in the annals of all-time crappy celebutante music creations, up against the likes of Heidi Montag and former BFF Paris Hilton…unfortunately we’ve all lost no matter who’s music is the worst because it will be heard by more people than 90% of the exceptional music that is on this blog and others like it…
Kim Kardhasian – Jam (Turn It Up)
Paris Hilton – Stars Are Blind
Heidi Montag – Higher
LOL! Posting these videos is equivalent to hurling shit on a Rembrandt. Please please take them down, they don't deserve to occupy the same cyberspace as the musical gems posted herein. Good for some laughs though. Just because you're hot and famous doth not bequeath you talent!
Indeed it does not, and this post is all about highlighting some seriously suspect material, certainly not what I usually do, but occasionally I may have to do this kind of thing…sometimes knowing exactly how bad things can truly get helps us to appreciate talented artistry all the more.
Here's Javier's comments copied over from Facebook:
Javier R.:
As atrocious as all 3 are, i'd have to vote for heidi. at least the other two numbskulls have some sort of discernible production, heidi's sounds beyond ghetto and sad… and that video!
My reply:
The jury might be out on that one until we get the actual video from Kim K, but yeah the whole vibe of the Heidi video is just odd, she really should have learned at least a couple of moves other than that whole throwing the arms out thing. Hard to pick a loser with this bunch.
And here's Bridget's comments pt. 1 copied over from Facebook….
Bridget T.: Paris Hilton's>>>>>Heidi Montag>Kim K (by a hair). That was embarrassing to post. I am willing to admit that Paris' album was at least catchy. Kim K doesn't even sound like she was trying to evoke the fun vibe she was "singing" about.
My reply: This is a hard one, cause normally I'm thinking about quality, here it's the opposite. I agree with you though, of the three Kim K seems the least interested in actually singing. It's like she's singing while doing her nails or some other mundane task. I likely won't go down this road again, or at least not for another year, but the song was so fascinatingly bad I just had to post something!
And Bridget's comments Pt. 2 copied over from Facebook….
Bridget T.: I think the worst part is that The Dream reached out to Kim to make this song not because she's into music, but because she's Kim Kardashian. When she says she can't even sing, I wanted to pull my hair out. Then why do it! To reference anot…her songbird, Kim Zolciak from RH of ATL cannot sing AT ALL, but at least her songs are fun & her autotuning isn't so blatant. I don't know why this fascinates me, but I clearly know too much about all of this.
My reply: In terms of why this is fascinating, it's very much car wreck music, you don't want to listen, but you just can't stop yourself from bearing witness to the spectacle.